Sunday, July 16, 2006

BOFH
Humour

The latest Bastard Operator From Hell:

"I think you'll find that our contract..."

"...mentions nothing about subcontracting your services to another company," he counters smartly. "I know - I had the company solicitors give your contract the once-over. As impressed as they were about the numerous strange clauses in your contract - their favourite being the extortionate penalty payment for remaining at work after a UFO sighting in the vicinity of the building - they believe that there's nothing to stop us using you to provide services to other companies."

...

"We are professionals, and after all, we were getting PAID to do it," the PFY says, handing this month's invoices to the head of IT.

"Who was it?" the head of IT sighs sadly.

"Him," the PFY says, pointing at the Boss.

"What?" the Boss asks.

"When?" the head of IT asks, ignoring the Boss.

"Moments after we got the word that we had to write up a spec," the PFY adds happily.

"WHAT?" the Boss asks.

"You would have been standing by a window," the head of IT says bitterly, a painful memory of his first week in the company rising to the surface. "And one of these two would have said something like 'look at that, is it an Airbus 320 or an Airbus 340'?"

"The actual question was 'is that a 747-200F or a 747-200C'?" the PFY says.

"Yes?" the Boss says.

"And you said something like 'I dunno' didn't you?" the head asks.

"Well, I don't know anything about planes," he replies defensively.

"And what do we call a flying object that you can't identify?" the PFY asks.

"Oh..." the Boss says. "I'll get me coat..."

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